Pigeons Aren't Real

It’s no coincidence planes get their design from birds. The little tweeters mastered flying long before man fancied the skies and we ripped them off big time. Truth is, birds know a thing or two about soaring the skies and no matter how much plastic DJI throw at a mould, our drone technology just doesn’t cut it.

Until pigeon drones.

Pigeon drones hit the government jackpot. Stealth, infiltration, surveillance. Eyes and ears in the pockets of your everyday lives. Society is waking up to the fact that pigeons are a threat to our freedom. You’re not just a pawn in the system. Take back your lives.

Intelligence authorities are utilising biological resources to obtain personal information.

The strength of the UK’s surveillance system has been hailed as the foundation for identifying mutant variants.

Meanwhile, Test and Trace has been hailed as one of our many downfalls in containing them. As we all know, the Test and Trace system relies on close communication with other devices, with the pigeon drone network capturing the data and relaying it back to Government HQ. So why is the technology failing us?

While millions of us downloaded the app, the bigger issue is tracing contacts. How many of you have received a phone call asking where you’ve been and who’ve you met? No need, because they also have the drone infrastructure to know. The shortcomings in the system are completely down to the fact that COVID infections have sky-rocketed beyond all predictions and the pigeons don’t stand a chance of tracing everyone, especially if you’re asymptomatic.

Over-confidence in the technology has acted as a replacement for measures which really work, like wearing a mask. Of course, facial recognition is much harder this way but we suggest you ditch the app, and cover your trap.